Every time you move Baby away from a sharp table corner or take away a choking hazard, you show them what is and isn’t safe for them to be around. Whether you know it or not, your conversation about personal safety actually started before Baby could even talk. You’ve always been teaching them that there are some things that are safe to be around and some that aren’t.
As your child gets older, the information you give them about safety around others can become more complex. At this stage, you just want to help Baby understand what a stranger is (someone we don’t know) and what to look for when it comes to strange behavior (it’s not normal or safe). You can point out people that would be good to talk to if Baby couldn’t find you for some reason, like a police officer or parent with children in tow. You may find it helpful to teach Baby that people in uniforms are likely to be able to help them if you become separated unexpectedly.
A note regarding some of these recommendations: these are meant to serve as examples, and we recognize that police officers and other uniformed officers may not feel like a safe resource for all people in all communities – most notably for people of color. So you should introduce and point out people you feel good about being a source of safety and security for your child in a way that makes the most sense for you.
At 2 and 3 years old, Baby can understand a lot of things but can’t necessarily have in-depth conversations. You can start to talk about body safety and surprises versus secrets. Your toddler should grow up knowing accurate names of their body parts, and that apart from hygiene with trusted adults or their doctors – no person (friend or stranger) should touch their covered parts. Help your child learn that your family doesn’t keep secrets and that no person – again, known to them or a stranger – should ask them to keep a secret from their trusted circle. Your child should know who their trusted adults are, and that strange behavior, like touching, secrets or taking them to a different location, should immediately be told to a trusted adult.
You may often worry about what will happen if Baby walks away from you in a store. You could retrieve them and say, “I need you to stay with me. We don’t know anyone else here.” Baby might not fully understand, but you can start with these small safety tips. In busy areas, remind your kiddo what to do if they become separated from you. Stay still, and scream as loudly as possible for help until your trusted adult is found. If your child is old enough to remember your first name – that’s a great thing to shout, but Mommy/Daddy/etc also work. Making a scene is usually the best way to stay safe.
As Baby gets older, you can ask them questions about hypothetical situations to make sure they know what to do if a stranger approaches them. “If someone you don’t know comes to talk to you, what do you do? If someone seems nice, do you still talk to them? If someone tries to take you somewhere, what do you do?” It can be hard to have these conversations, but it’s important Baby knows that they can scream for help if they don&;t feel safe with a stranger or known person.
Once Baby is 4 or 5, you can expand on their knowledge about strange behavior. You can gently explain that even people they know can sometimes show strange behavior. And that if that happens, they should immediately find a trusted adult in their circle to tell. Remind them that you will always believe them and help to keep them safe.
You might want to give Baby the same basic rule that your parents might have given you: don’t talk to strangers. Stranger danger, however, isn’t enough. It’s important for children to grow up understanding that strange behavior often comes from people we know. Interacting with strangers when you are present can help children feel confident and empathetic, but the right approach to talking with strangers will vary from family to family.
Small and frequent conversations about safety can help your child feel confident in how to stay safe, and reassured that you will support them in any strange situation.
Sources
- “What to Teach Kids About Strangers.” National Crime Prevention Council. National Crime Prevention Council. 2017. Web.
